3 Boundaries to Set Around Your Soul
March 24, 2020
Soul care is imperative. How you care for it matters. Start with setting boundaries.
One night, in 2015, as I was preparing for my week, I became ill. My head ached and I felt like I was about to vomit and pass out. I knew that meant that my body was telling me to slow down. Something was not quite right. It was as if my soul became paralyzed and I could not move forward. I was functioning in the call but I was no longer thriving. I cried often, felt incredibly lonely, and I gained back a good deal of the weight I had lost. Something had to change because this was not me. So I canceled all of my outside appointments and my week of client work. I was worn out and needed to just be still for a while. I needed to rejuvenate my spirit and refresh my soul.
It happens. You are going, going, and going some more; being everything to everybody, getting little sleep, and eating poorly. The key is to recognize that it is happening and begin setting boundaries around your soul. Why?
Because your soul is the core of your mental and emotional being. It partners with your spirit and together they make up what the Scriptures call the “heart.” The writer of Proverbs declares, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Prov. 4:23 NASB). We see here that the “heart” is central to our emotions and will. Thus, it is imperative that you guard your soul. This is where boundaries come in.
What I have learned is that you have to create habits that are conducive to the healing of your soul. These habits are the boundaries that will help guard your soul and fill you up with what you need in your life to maintain a healthy disposition – body, soul, and spirit. While everyone should set boundaries specific to their needs, I want to share three that I believe are pertinent for everyone to adhere to.
- Retreat. For an entire week, I did not take or make any phone calls. I just did not want to hear what someone needed from me. I did not want to offer myself to anyone. I had been drained dry and needed a filling that humans are seldom able to give and oftentimes refuse to. So for the first seven days, I retreated with God in prayer, study, and reading books that filled me up. It was important for me to sit in Daddy’s lap for a while and shut the world outside my front door out. I barely came out of the house and I was seldom in my room. This boundary is important because your relationship with God is necessary. Don’t allow anyone to take that from you. Retreat with God.
- Clarity. I needed the time to detoxify from all of the conversations I had been having and all of the toxicity that had entered my soul. If you are not careful people will suck the life out of you and unintentionally (although sometimes intentionally) leave a trail of deadly poison behind. You need to set a boundary of clarity so that you are assured of the next moves and the need to make those movements happen. Without clarity, the steps you try to take will become mottled with the unintentional mess and issues of others. When you are clear it breeds love that flows from your heart into the lives of others. Clarity is a point your journey that you should always strive to receive.
- Support. Everybody needs a place to bleed and having friends who allow that is a good thing. Understand that the boundary of support you build must be filled with people who know how to not only receive but how to give. This is important and I want you to grab hold of this. Not everyone you know understands how to give but they all know how to receive. It takes a person who is willing to be intentional in loving you and giving you soul refreshers and reminders of just how special you are. We all need that. If you are constantly giving, sit back and take a look at your circle and then start moving folks around so that your inner circle reciprocates and represents what your soul needs.
Listen your soul is important to your being and your being is important to your journey. You cannot move forward when your soul is vexed and your spirit is not connected where it needs to be. Be intentional in setting boundaries around your soul. Your life depends on it.
How do you set boundaries around your soul? Do you set boundaries around your soul? Why or why not?